I'm trying

Don't worry they say...
I'm trying
Be happy they say...
I'm trying
You can they say...
I'm trying
Pursue your dreams they say...
I'm trying 

Yes I say it now too, but with 100% conviction and belief because I've lived it. I began by just trying, just wondering... maybe, is it possible... not knowing how at the time, but persisting, determined to figure it out along the way.
But there was a battle, 
A loud voice in my head that doubted, that told me no you can't, don't try, you heard what such and such said, you will fail, you’re not good enough, pretty enough, talented enough, you'll be embarrassed, don't bother. Life wasn't meant to be easy. 

I heard it all, over and over. the voice of my nemesis, my ego, doubts, fear and lack of self-worth. I listened for some time too and gave in to its convincing argument. 
Till I discovered I had choices. I was in control of my life, my very thoughts.

This thought alone set the wheels in motion, to strive, thrive and grow into the women I was capable of being and meant to be. I started to look beyond my little existence and the miserable bubble I'd lived in. A feeling of excitement, of life, welled up inside me. 
It began with reading, scanning the self-help section at the library for anything that jumped out me. So much time spent alone behind the cover of one book after another. I appeared to be hiding, but like a caterpillar seemingly hiding away in the sanctuary and safety of its cocoon I was silently growing and learning. I then began to venture out and look for mentors and like-minded people. People who lived a life I wanted so desperately for myself and my boys. 

Was it really possible? Who am I to dream so big? I would question from time to time. 
STOP, I would say loudly in my mind as the voice of doubt and fear would try to chime in again, you better believe it's possible I would eagerly reply. 

My Personal Development journey had begun; an incredible adventure that I would soon realise would not be completed in this lifetime but one I would stay on as long as I lived, one I would embrace with all my heart. One that would lead me to counselling, coaching, writing and helping others in so many ways.

To know that you have choices, control of your thoughts and how you handle everything that life sends your way, is an incredible gift. I would go so far as to say an enlightening moment. The moment your life can change forever. To know that even when you feel you don't know how, there is someone who does. There is an abundance of resources, tools and mentors that we can all freely access to show us the way.

It is not money that stops us, 
It is not others that stop us, 
It is not whether you’re in a relationship, or as beautiful, talented and inspiring as the people you perceive around you, it is your thoughts. Those thoughts you allow to take hold and build residency in your mind. No matter where they came from we choose to take them on board, to listen, to give them life or to let them go.

Our doubts, fears, self-imposed feelings of lack and unworthiness that stop us in our tracks, cause so much unnecessary suffering and lead us into sabotaging our chances of happiness and fulfilment. 

We do not need to suffer the amount that we do. 
We do not need to carry the many burdens, doubts and fears that we do.
We do not have to ever feel less than.
We can choose to free ourselves, to put in the work required to stand tall, to believe, to be happy, to move forward, to meet and greet ourselves with such kindness and love and become who we we're born to be.

We are all at different stages in our personal development journey, but each stage requires the commitment to keep going, keep looking, keep learning and growing to become a better version of the person you were yesterday.

For many it begins with just trying, a little step, a great book, a positive mentor, a leap of faith. Because each positive step will build belief and lead you into the life you were meant to live; a life full of love, joy and meaning. 

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Celebrating You - Awaken Your Best Self - An online E-Course for Women

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Karen Offord › Blog 2017 › Im Trying