1. Relationships are the reason for our greatest pain but also for our greatest joy!
2. Everyone craves, needs and desires relationships - its human nature, we thrive on connection.
3. Too many people get stuck in their relationship because they lose sight of what brought them
together. They get so exhausted after the excitement wears off; consumed by the
bills, chores, kids, life's obligations and they stop noticing all the wonderful
things their partner does. They forget to make time for all the little things
that keep a relationship alive, fun, passionate and growing!
- Things
like saying I love you every day.
- The
hugs, kisses and intimate moments, the winks, smiles and flirting (those things
that separate us from just being roommates or co-parents.
- Doing
nice little things for each other just because you know it will make their day,
without expecting anything in return.
4. Even in relationships where it takes two; we all have a choice. But pride,
fear, undealt with feelings and past hurts often get in the way. We can
all choose to:
- Take
the time to truly connect; talk and listen free from judgement.
- To be the example in our relationship. Meaning if you want more love, be more loving, if you want more affection, be more affectionate, if you want more joy, be more joyful. As Ghandi famously said “be the change you wish to see”
- To live consciously in the now. Doing what we can, with what we have from where we are right now.
5. We could all do more, give more, love more!
6. Too many people play tit for tat, or I will when you do, or I’ll just wait and see first – then if things change (meaning if their partner changes) I’ll try harder.
7. Relationships take effort, every single day! but I like to call it
effortless effort.
The
effort you make that doesn't feel hard, draining, painful or like an
obligation, because you choose to do it, you know why you do it, it comes from
a place of love, it lights you up and brings your partner joy. I
remember hearing Dr Phil say that every morning he wakes up, he looks at his wife
and silently thinks "what can I do to make your day better" I've
always thought how magnificent everyone's relationship would be if they took
that thinking on-board! When you find someone that lights you up, you have to make an effort every day to keep it alive! An effortless
effort full of unconditional love and joy.
8. Some relationships are not meant to be. It can feel like love, it may well be but the difference in values and direction are so vast that it cannot be no matter how much you try. In these cases we're often afraid to leave, afraid to speak up through fear of what might be said, of feeling rejected, hurt, missing out or fear of finding ourselves alone. In saying that I know that these are the relationships that teach us to grow, to become more of our authentic-self and each one can leave us stronger and ready for the right relationship.
9. The way we are in our relationships sets the standard for our children. So let them see that relationships are beautiful partnerships full of love, joy and meaning. So that they accept nothing less.
10. But the greatest thing to know about relationships is that it all begins with you.
The greater the relationship you have with yourself – the greater
the relationship you experience with others.
When you can embrace
yourself - you can embrace others
When you
can accept yourself - you can accept others
When you
can forgive yourself - you can forgive others
When you
can truly fully love yourself - you can truly fully love others.
If you’re struggling or wanting to re-kindle the love and passion in your relationship I welcome you to contact me for a free relationship rescue call!
And for all the women I welcome you to check out my E-Course all about building the greatest relationship you will ever have – the one you have with yourself. Full details on my Celebrating You – Awaken Your Best Self E-Course for women - here.
This is your life – don’t waste a minute of it unhappy, unfulfilled or struggling.
Karen Offord › Blog 2016 › 10 Things to know about relationships!