There is an epidemic of unhelpful, negative storytelling in our world.
Not all of them even our own. Stories & narratives we’ve carried from previous generations? Stories & narratives we’ve created influenced from previous generations & personal past experiences & beliefs we carry around that don’t serve us. We’ve become so used to telling them, feeling them. They swirl around in our minds, they come out automatically, finding their way into the connections & conversations we have throughout our days.
We don’t question them but we do question or wonder; why do I feel so off, why is life so hard, where is the joy. Continuing the cycle for the next generation.
So Id like to ask, when you see an old friend, you haven’t seen for awhile, or someone you catch up with regularly, when you head to the office Monday morning, when you’re sitting quietly in your own company... what stories do you tell? When something doesn’t go to plan... what is your narrative? Again what story do you tell.
Take some time to think about it.
There is a glorious transformation & life changing magic that comes from a positive, productive story. Not based on the ‘facts’ of a situation, experience or event but in the story you tell. As Marriane Williamson says “two people can go through the exact same experience externally, but internally they do two completely different things with it. That’s why we hear of people who went through something like the Holocaust & go on to lead extraordinary lives & others who go through only a fraction of that but they stay stuck in it forever”
Many years ago, my story, my narrative to who ever I came in contact with was “life is so hard” “I never meet the right men” “I struggle all the time” & the familiar response or feeling of repeating, thinking & sharing “same old same old” urgggh... writing it agin here sounds so dull, boring & repelling.
The good news is that we have the ability to change it.
I remember Anthony Robbins sharing a story about stories. He said "if you watched a movie you didn’t enjoy, you wouldn’t watch it again, nor would you recommend it to a friend". So why do we go to lousy movies/stories in our minds, pressing replay again & again & then share them with others?
The facts of something may remain but we have the power to choose to see it, share it & tell it differently without fooling ourselves, let’s be real & honest but by re-writing these stories with love, with hope, with the desire & direction of what we want to create in this moment & for our future. When we can feel differently, share differently we not only create new experiences but we can break the cycle for the next generation. How many of us have lived with the story & belief that life is hard, moneys hard to come by, that we’re not worthy or capable of (add in your common story) that came from the stories & beliefs of our parents or those around us growing up. Now let’s just send them some love. And remember their knowledge & sharing (& sometimes misguided & odd form of caring) came from their experiences & all they knew at the time.
There is so much we will pass onto our children onto the next generation but it doesn’t have to include all the unhelpful, negative stories if we choose to look at them & change them today.
What story could you re-write today?
Like I mentioned the facts may remain the same for E.g: you may have been unlucky in love, you may have been in a horrible relationship, your parents may have always fought or got divorced. Your story, like my old one, might be “I’ll never meet the right person” or “relationships are hard” keeping hold of & reinforcing the belief that it doesn’t exist (when we know, if we look, it absolutely does) & ultimately making it stronger as your thoughts create experiences to prove you are right & you unknowingly share with those around you that it’s not possible.
What if you took a good look around to see the evidence that it does exist. We tend to forget these & stay stuck & focused on our personal pain & lack. Is there a couple you know that are living proof a healthy, happy, loving relationship exists. Is there a moment when you did experience it but have forgotten. If not, all hope is not lost because there are a million stories of people who have experienced deep pain, trauma & abuse in relationships that have gone on to find the loves of their life & yes live happily ever after. Be prepared to do the work, search to find the proof you need to rebuild your belief & re-write your story.
If you choose to, you can be moments away from changing your story & belief to (in the example above) “there is someone perfect for me, they’re on their way to me, till they come I am living fully & loving my life.”
This thinking, work & determination can be applied to any destructive, unhelpful, negative story you’ve told yourself & others. You deserve to give yourself every opportunity to not only transform your life & your experiences through looking at, gaining awareness & changing your story & belief but you will also help break the cycle for generations to come.
One of the greatest gifts & powers of being a women is unconditional love for our children & those around us. Often we don’t do things for ourselves but when we can recognise & understand the impact we have on our children, on others we move hell & high water to change it because the thought of our children carrying the weight & burdens we were not even aware of (till now) is enough motivation to change it & in that we change ourselves, our experiences & the beliefs for generations to come.
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