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Personal Development for Life - When no one is around
April 16, 2017


When no one can hear you...

- How do you feel?

- What do you think?

- What do you focus on?

It was some time ago but as I sat one night having a deep and meaningful about life and love with a dear friend, she shared something she'd never shared with anyone. To those that knew my friend (even well, as I thought I did) she was confident, strong, happy, fun, outgoing. Compassionate and loving, always ready to lend a hand or ear. She was determined and a real go getter. Nothing ever seemed to shake her. As she shared and really opened up about her life this particular night, she revealed when she was alone, in her own company, usually late at night a battle would begin, her self-attacks would come out, doubts and self-critisms would fill her mind. She found countless ways to sabotage herself, one night even heading out to stand in the middle of the highway to throw away and scatter beautiful ripped up cards and notes that she had lost faith in.

We all have dark nights of the soul, those nights when all hope seems lost, nothing seems to comfort us and we get through it by falling asleep from crying and pure exhaustion. For those who know my story you'd know before my personal development journey and studies began I had plenty! But it was a real shock to hear these experiences coming from someone I looked up too and believed to have it all together. My heart went out to her, all those nights I never knew and was only a phone call or short drive away.

No one is free from experiencing these dark moments. Just one event, one thought, one comment can spiral us down if we're not living consciously, mindfully. If we're not aware of the power of our thoughts, how can we bring ourselves back into a positive and productive state of mind. Because just as one thought can knock you down, one positive thought can lift you up if you allow it to take residency in your mind.

I sabotaged my life and my happiness for years; I can laugh at it now and think wow! I really gave it to myself good but as I've grown, studied and worked with many women I know without a shadow of a doubt we can turn it around, it doesn't have to be that way. There will always be negativity in this world, just as there is light and dark. For the rest of our lives we will face unhappy, unhelpful, hurtful comments, thoughts and feelings, but when we choose to focus on the right things, when we choose to take on board and allow all that is good, beautiful and positive in this world to take hold in our minds, we can rise up every time. With such love and compassion for those that speak such harsh words and cause us pain. With such love and compassion we can rise up and forgive, embrace, accept and love ourselves. No matter our past, no matter what anyone says.

We may not be able to choose who falls in love with us, who says what to us, the weather and other experiences outside of our control, but our greatest ability is the 100% choice we have to control what we think, what we focus on. The choice to turn anything around for our highest good and the highest good of others.

That to me is so exciting, so empowering, to know we can choose what will ultimately shape our experiences in this amazing journey we call life.

And remember even if you don't know how to change it, feel you can't or just feel so overwhelmed you don't know where to start; to reach out. There are so many people and available resources out there to help us find our way until we can tap into the power and potential of our own minds. In this day and age no one should ever have to suffer in silence.

When no one is around

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