Internal Dialogue

Growth Promoting, Soul Destroying or somewhere in between

When you’re alone with your thoughts, where does your mind go? What do you tell yourself? When faced with a problem (or challenge as many prefer to call it), where does your mind go? What sort of questions do you ask yourself?

Does your mind take you on a journey of beauty, belief, hope, solutions, love and happiness or into the shadows of despair, anger, helplessness, hopelessness, cant's and fear? Is your mind stuck on repeat of past trauma or not so successful experiences or in the magic of the moment and all that is and can be?

One of our greatest hurdles is our internal dialogue. The thoughts, conversations and questions that run through our minds, where nobody but you can hear, can feel. It's that very dialogue that plays an integral part in your happiness, success and life experience.

We can be our own best friend or greatest enemy.

NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming teaches us how quickly we can change from one state (of mind) to another just by way of our thoughts, our focus. We all possess the power to choose. However, it lies dormant in so many people.

You can take a 'thought inventory' to check in with your thoughts and to see where your mind goes. It's a simple exercise that requires only pen and paper or any technology that allows you to take notes.

This simple exercise will help you shed light on the world you experience and can lead you into a glorious shift and new awareness. A shift into feeling happier, more productive, more positive, more alive. You see, many people want to make changes, they want to feel better but they a) don't know how to go about it. Many thinking "it's too hard" or "I can't help thinking that" b) they want results but are not prepared to do anything. For any change to occur you have to change what's not working, you have to take action. The thought inventory exercise will help you uncover what needs to change in your way of thinking.

Choose a day where things aren't so hectic. Throughout this day every few hours (or as a thought comes to mind) write down what you've been thinking, focusing on. Your thoughts, your comments, your questions. It may seem like a time consuming exercise but you owe it to yourself to be aware of how you think, how you process moments and situations as they arise and what sort of things flit into your mind as you go about your day.

Once completed read through your notes. Did you notice any patterns?

Are you more of a best friend to yourself; encouraging, helpful, positive, finding solutions. Or are you your own enemy; beating yourself up, dragging yourself down. It's interesting how we can easily encourage, pump up, provide solutions and reassurance to our friends but often we can't do that for ourselves. You know the drill: "hello __ (friend’s name) __ how are you?" "I'm ok, but I'm worried about _____", "oh, don't worry it will all work out, have you tried x,y,z".

Once you've raised awareness of your thoughts you can then begin to replace them. With determination, self-belief and consistent repetitive actions that are growth promoting. Remind yourself daily to be a friend to yourself. Read positive helpful books, use quotes, affirmations and things that will trigger your mind to your new desired way of thinking. Introduce an attitude of gratitude. You can change the way you think. The proof will be in your experiences and your state of mind.

Become aware of what you think, what you focus on; because that will determine your life experience.

We have been given a beautiful gift from the universe, this moment.

Spend your moments:

Focusing on what's great

What you're grateful for

The beautiful things and people around you

What you can actively do to change, heal or help yourself

So that your moments aren't spent or wasted in conflict, sabotage or struggle with yourself. There's 28868310 seconds left, no 28868309, 28868308 (ok you see where I'm going with that) - use them well!

To grow, to love, to be aware, to be well, to be happy, to be alive - fully alive!

Important: If you uncover something that feels traumatic or painful for you - speak to someone; a professional or someone you trust. In this day and age you should never have to suffer in silence, help is always available to those who seek it.

I welcome your comments, thoughts and feedback. www.karenofford.com

Karen Offord is the author of 'Dare to Dream, Your Journey of a Lifetime'. She is an author, blogger and professional counsellor - helping men and women who desire to make positive changes in their life by providing an abundance of information, tools and resources - so they can experience, enjoy and live the life they desire and deserve, full of love, hope and joy.

I welcome and encourage you to also visit and upload a happy photo to http://www.karenofford.com/share-what-makes-you-smile.html

Acknowledging the simple things in life that make you smile. In doing so you also help someone in need by way of my wonderful sponsors donating $1 to charity for each happy :) photo uploaded :) Full details found on the page. With sincerity, hope and gratitude - Thank You :)

Back to Back Issues Page