It was early; I woke up as I always did, filled
with worry, doubt, shame, guilt and all their unhappy, like minded relatives. I
was tired, I looked horrible, old and worn out. I hated my life, I hated me.
What was the point I wondered.
Consumed with fear, loaded with self-attacks and self-loathing. Another day, repeat...
It was time for change. There had to be more to life.
That was nearly 15 years ago. My marriage was falling apart, it was miserable, filled with fights and tension. I knew I wasn't meant to live like this, neither where my children and my partner for that matter. We all deserved to be happy. I had to fix it, I didn't know how, but I knew I had to do something, I knew I had to find out.
I did back then what I always did, I ran away. A fresh start surely was the answer! So I ended my marriage, this was my second divorce. Riddled with guilt and shame, but I didn't know what else to do. I left with a dream of living peacefully with my two children and once again trying to rebuild a new life, a happy life, surely this time around I could find it.
I fought a heart wrenching, often abusive battle with my ex for some years, not to mention the continuing ferocious attacks on myself. But my children needed me; they needed me to be strong, to be the light in a world that seemed like such a struggle, an existence of just going through the motions without a great deal of joy. A robotic life, each day doing the same thing, with little result or change. Their example of what relationships looked like was unhealthy, unhappy, uninviting. A grey, heavy energy filled our home. I thought I had done my children a favour by getting out of a miserable marriage, until the doubts crept back in with all their friends, life seemed so much harder on my own & I started to believe I'd just made it a whole lot worse.
Something stirred deep inside one morning and I began to look, I mean really look with such determination. I'd had that desire and feeling before but never so intensely, so urgent and absolute. I wanted to feel inspired and happy. I wanted my children to be excited about life, to have hope and to believe that life was truly abundant in joy and love.
And so it began, that desire and thought was propelled into action.
I spent hours each day at the library, while my kids were at school, I read and read and read, I researched and discovered some amazing resources, tools and people. People that have since become my mentors.
My journey in those early days took me on a wild ride, as I tried everything and anything from meditation to putting myself in altered states (with the help of some unsavoury methods) I navigated my way through blindly for some time, but absolutely committed and determined to find my joy, my purpose and to be the women and mother I knew I was meant to be.
As time went on things started to settle down as I started to see what was possible and myself in a new light. I learnt to be discerning, who to listen to, including my newly discovered higher self? Who I affectionately now refer to as Aurora.
On my journey I found myself, my passion, my purpose and my soul mate.
I learnt many great lessons along the way;
- I learnt that I create my life and the
experiences I have and will have
- I learnt about free will and that I cannot control what other people say or do, only what I say and do. But the way that I handle and deal with things plays a big part in how others around me respond or react
- I learnt about the collective consciousness.
- I learnt about personal responsibility and accountability
- I learnt about self-acceptance and self-love
- I learnt to respond not react
- I learnt about the power of gratitude
- I learnt about mindfulness and living consciously in the now. Finding joy in the moment you're in
- I learnt no matter what we face there is always an answer, always a way and always a choice
- I learnt about affirmations, energy and healing
- I learnt about fear. Fear of the unknown, a debilitating emotion and how to change it to love and embrace it
- I learnt the greatest relationship you can
ever have is with you
- I learnt the greatest investment you can ever make is in you
- I learnt the only limit to you is the one you place on yourself
We each have lessons to learn, a unique tale to tell and experiences in every colour, shape and size imaginable. We each have answers that we long for, a desire and need to feel love, a sense of belonging and connection. And although we are so different and at varying stages of our journey we each have the same innate abilities and access to a world of information. And as we grow, as we open up to what's possible, as we seek information, learning from those before us, those who inspire us in a world full of amazing mentors and inspiration, we can tap into the greatest discovery of all. A power beyond what many could ever imagine and lies dormant in even more. That is how truly powerful and capable we are. Our thoughts are our power and govern our experience and the life we create. Knowingly or not we create it. In that immense truth and power we can change in an instant, once we believe we can.
We hold the very key to our success and happiness. We can choose to dwell in all that is painful and negative, feeling helpless, hopeless like a failure or victim or we can choose to rise up and accept our greatest gift - the power of our minds and our very being; for all that we are, all that we do, can do and can be, in this amazing journey we call life.
Celebrating You is about discovering the greatest relationship you will ever have! It's the one you can never hide from, the one that affects them all!
In this on-line E-Course you will discover the keys to;